Stupid and i feel like I want death. I’ve been going 6 weeks clean from cutting but I’m scared that when I cut again everyone will be so disappointed in me. What are some other ways for me to not cut? Like things that give me the same satisfaction?
* Oh, my child… I am so sorry to hear you must live with this. It is unfair, but you are certainly not alone in the matter, and there are many resources for such a thing.
* I would suggest things that leave non-harmful marks on your skin such as drawing (I am happy to report that ballpoint pens are in actually not toxic to you), or snapping rubber bands against your skin, or even pressing salted ice cubes against yourself. Even simple icy cold water may chill your skin enough to deter these feelings.
* If you can handle spiciness even, I would even suggest doing something such as biting into and chewing a hot pepper, though not too hot a pepper please, a jalapeno or such at most…
* But my dear, I understand all too well how hard it is to deal with being Bipolar and the effects it has on you. I know for a fact that no matter what your condition may make you think of yourself, you are doing your best, and your best is what matters. Learning to cope is a long and hard road, and you are strong for traversing it.
* And know that from the bottom of my heart, that if in a dark hour your resolve fails you, and you cut again, that I am not disappointed in you. What you feel is difficult beyond words, and I know that you have done all in your power to resist.
* But you are still here, and you are still pushing through despite how hard it all is, staying determined to make it through the days, and for that I am ever proud of you, my child.