At first I was depressed. I have bipolar disorder but im almost never depressed I just go from manic to normal. But this time I got so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed and fell into old habits of not going to school. For the past month my mood swings from a few days depressed to a few days super manic changed so fast and hit me hard.
Now of course my current school knows me as the perfect student and is confused while the boy I tried to impress tells all my old mates that I haven’t changed At all and tells everybody at my new school how I was at my old school and jokes about me not reaching anything in life while its not true. I got 4 scholarships already for next year and my IQ was tested quite recently and indeed it was way higher than for others my age and everybody in my school knows that since I get the best grades. I just relapsed and he doesn’t make it any better. My doctor said I should try two more weeks without medication but im losing my mind. I don’t understand why Took them from me in the first place i had absolutely no side effects nor did I need a high dose I was absolutely fine with the minimum dose. I agree I have to learn to live without them but see I felt triggered and I relapsed. I had absolutely no guidance or therapist when they took my medication. I was thrown into cold water. I missed another day of school because I had a mental breakdown.
My parents don’t make it better they just yell at me to go to school and I agree. Until I get my medication Back do you have advice how I can go to school? I do get up in the morning that’s not the problem. The problem is actually GOING to school. When im depressed one day i get so overwhelmed with panic for no reason and when im manic im usually out the night and go straight to school but feel like I’m wasting time and leave to do other ‘more productive’ things and everythings always so intense. I also am no help in class because I can’t stop talking and moving around. My mind us so fcked up and I absolutely loathe myself for relapsing. I see my doctor in about 2 weeks I know you are not doctors but I just need all the advice you can give me to survive the two weeks. English isn’t my first language but my 3rd ok so don’t think I’m stupid also I didn’t want to submit because I want to stay anon but if one of the parts accidently wasn’t please post anon thank you!! <33333
hey friend (: a few things – you can submit anonymously! all you need to do is log out of tumblr, and provide an email address (it can be fake if need be). we suggest that because asks can get lost, tumblr eats them sometimes ): or if you choose to send in a few separate messages, give yourself a nickname so we can group all of your messages together c:
whenever you have a dependence on something or you’re used to something comfortable and safe – medication, in-patient care, jail – and you’re then taken off that dependence and not given any support? relapsing is so much more likely ): it’s really shitty that you weren’t given any guidance or support when your doctors decided to take you off the medication, and then relapsing is pretty understandable.
but hey I mean you were clean and doing well? that’s tim that you spent fighting urges and making progress, to be quite honest I’d say that’s a win c:
relapsing is never super great but sometimes it’s just a part of recovery – you’ve only taken one or two steps back and it’s still completely possible to keep moving forward. don’t beat yourself up too much over this friend, mistakes happen and that’s just life I think. work on avoiding triggers as much as possible and finding other ways to cope with the negative emotions? practise deep breathing or yoga, go for a long walk if you need to get outside of your home or away from people, have a nice long shower or listen to music you love or watch your favourite movie, there’s lots of alternatives that can help you. plus, we have a tag on the blog with lots of posts and links on coping strategies and tips to get through it, check it out if you like too.
you can still push through this, you can still bounce back. remind yourself that you can’t take back what’s happened, focus on the present and learning from your mistakes and moving on with your life. all the best ❤