my gf n i have anxiety disords. we dunno 4 sure what she has but i’ve GAD n bipolar T2 and she’s deffs at least depressed i have APD, poly-substance abuse addiction, andautism i mostly mnage. i’m so happy to have her in my lif. when i’m suicidal she can bring me back, but sometimes she’s going through a BPD epi while i’m suicidal or hypomanic n doin a lot of drugs n idk how 2 deal. i am in counseling for the addiction part, but do u have any advice 4 helpin peeps who r depressed whn u r down 1/2

2/2 advice for peeps who are depressed while ur depressed, sry i don’t quite remember what my previous ask said. mm. basically what it gets down to is, if you feel like there’s no reason to live, or want to commit suicide, what do you say to somebody else who’s feeling the same way? aside from recommending counseling n such. it doesn’t have to be anything specific, but a general idea of where to head in the convo to buy time til she calms down would be so v appreciated.

TW: Suicide, Addiction

Hey anon, that’s actually a really good question. That might be a really good vlog topic, too, since this is what we as mods do a lot of the time.

I think the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to be sincere, no matter what. If you can’t talk about all the great things about life and living, don’t. Just be as honest as you can, while still being helpful. Tell her how much YOU would miss her, and how much her life means to YOU. 

One thing that always helped me a lot is when my significant other would tell me things about myself that were basically just observations they had noticed about me over time. So not necessarily good or bad qualities that she has, but things that she can’t twist in her head to make her hate herself more (I know that if anyone compliments me somehow, I can somehow twist what they said into a reason to feel bad or guilty). Just things that let her know that you care enough about her to really know her, and to notice her.

For example, “It’s so cute to me how you always tap your toothbrush against the sink 3 times.” or “I love how you have a different smile for different types of happy moods you’re in.” Stuff like that, that won’t make her have to think about herself too deeply, while still reminding her that she is human and that she is loved.

It is important to stay calm in these situations. Be the one in control of your emotions, since it doesn’t really help when both people let their emotions carry them through these types of situations. Just stay calm and collected, and remind her that someone cares about whether she lives or dies (without explicitly saying that).

Apparently this idea has been very controversial, so I won’t post any links here, but you can find reasons not to commit suicide in our resources page. That one is very neutral…the simpler the topics on the list, the better. Maybe even consider coming up with your own list of reasons between the two of you, and bring those out when you need them. 

It’s great that you are seeking out ways to help, but remember, if active plans to die are involved, you might need the help of a mental health professional. Call 911 or go to the Emergency Room if things escalate or get out of hand.

Hang in there, Jessi

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